Vigorous Defeat

For those of you who don’t like to hear details about games you haven’t played, I just want to warn you that minor spoilers follow from this point.

All right, so I just got to your flying city. A lot of you guys I’m fighting have probably been here a while, so you must know how things work a little better than I do. Why the ehf are you morons not using the bottles that give you permanent super powers that are pretty much everywhere, sometimes literally lying on the ground in the street. Seriously. Because I am WRECKING you guys, and maybe one out of every fifty of you has bothered to use them (and even then, only one vigour at a time).

The first vigour you get in the game gives you the ability to possess robots and people. For a mere 50$, you can upgrade this so that when it wears off on humans, they KILL themselves. And they were handing this ability out for free at a family fair. All these jerks in Columbia have no excuse for the ass-whooping I handed them.

But we don’t play these games for the realism, now do we. Forget everything I said. It’s a fantastic game, and everyone should play it :).

~C

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Discussion (8) ¬

  1. Mike Karell

    If Bowser used a fireflower, Mario would be screwed. No more slow motion fire breath. Say hello to impossible to dodge bouncing fireballs.

    • boliver

      That actually sounds like one hell of a battle. Maybe the fireballs cancel each other out if they hit?

  2. Brian

    If arcade games from the 90s taught me anything, it’s that winners don’t use drugs. Columbia PD were ahead of their time.

    • boliver

      Now that’s an interesting angle. Still, if it’s a drug that lets me throw lighting from my hands, sign me up.

  3. Michael Corley

    Did koopas use stars? DID THEY?

    • boliver

      That could have been badass…and ridiculous. Mario would have to work on his dodging skills.

  4. boliver

    I’d like to point out that “vigour” actually looks weird to me using Canadian spelling.

  5. JerryBenedict

    Although Canadian spellings are much classier than the American spellings where we leave out the “u”!

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