Rock Bottom


I’ve never been able to understand it. Why the hell does paper beat rock? I mean, I get it, for the purposes of the game…yada yada, but man does it ever sound dumb when you really think about it. I mean, the kind of rock that gets defeated by paper isn’t gonna be smashing any scissors either, right?


Be sure to like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter, eh ;)


Discussion (23) ¬


    Very true and very wierd. :)

  2. Warren Frantz

    Awwww! Isn’t that the cutest rock ever? Yes he is! Cutie pants!

    • boliver

      Cute rocks don’t win against paper :p

  3. Saeed

    It’s like Battle Beast. How the hell does wood beat water? Water can freaking destroy wood. But those are the rules of the game. Until you just freaking punch the paper throwing in the face with your rock punch.

    • boliver

      True. At the very least wood floats on water though…paper just kind of sits over top of rock and it submits.

  4. Schmuck Man

    I have thrown rocks at paper, I have no idea how paper wins; it NEVER won.

    At least you didn’t mention Lizard or Spock, it gets even more confusing then.

    • boliver

      Lol, oh god, Sheldon’s version doesn’t count.

  5. Bearman

    Paper covers rock in shame.

    • boliver

      The rock is shaped like a dong and hiding it’s shame?

  6. JerryBenedict

    Maybe there is some embarrassing revelation about the rock on the paper… in a sense, the rock would be defeating… himself.

    • boliver

      Damn…that’s deep, Jerry :)

  7. Mark Stokes

    Emo or Eeyore?

    • boliver

      A little of column A, a little of column B ;)

  8. ShadowBlade

    Emo rock… I see what you did there…


  9. The Code Crimson

    Emo rock is so sad… He needs to hook up with scissors, show paper what’s up.

    • boliver

      It might be a hard match-up. I’ve heard scissors is kind of metal.

  10. James

    Stop being brilliant. You’re making everyone else look bad.

    • boliver

      I take that as the highest compliment coming from the genius of the Obscure Gentlemen!

  11. George

    Paper beating rock never made much sense to me either. I’ve used rocks to straight terrorize sheets of paper before. But in the game, no such luck. :)

  12. Tony McGurk

    Awww… Poor widdle wock.
    I now dislike bully paper

Comment ¬

* Copy this password:

* Type or paste password here:

NOTE - You can use these tags:
<a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>